November 13, 1999

Gotta love TGIF. Just got done watching The Partridge Family Story. Pretty...interesting. The guy who played David Cassidy/Keith Partridge was kind of hot. Can you believe they are actually making a movie about the death of that little Ramsey girl? I mean come on! Where do they get this stuff? Do we even know who really killed her? What next, a movie on Columbine?

Anyhoo, maybe thats a little harsh. But it kind of shocked me that Hollywood wants to turn a murder into a movie. Know what also got to me? The Blair Witch Project. That seriously pissed me off. Here I thought it was a true story, and I had been scared shitless for days. But yet, I find out it was all a hoax! That made me feel just dandy! But I suppose thats besides the point.

I went to the mall today, and saw where Katie worked. SunCoast at the Villa, lovely. I attempted to find a job, and no such luck. Its funny, when I was 14, everytime I looked, they were only hiring 15 and up, NOW that I'm 15, its 16 and up. Get this, McDonalds won't even hire a 15 year old! But I can tell ya, I ain't sure workin at the one down my street. I wouldn't be able to understand my orders! So the job thing was a no go, and today I was lucky enough to run into 2 or 3 Lakewood people. Alright, so maybe its obvious, the Villa being in Lakewood, but still. I do not like seeing people from school. I don't know why, its just a disturbing thing for me. Its like, I have this weekend to myself, my comfy friends I've known all my life, and than I run into someone from math class. Usually people are like "cool, right on. Hey man whats up? How's it goin?" But not when your trying to FORGET school.

I didn't like seeing people from North when I went there either, but if I see them now, its like "Hey man, long time no see." But I'm sure many people feel the same way. Tommorow is Sunday, and I have to devote my whole day to homework, what a joyful way to spend your day, huh? But I should, I need to boost up my grades in school, and think about my future again. My parents said being a beach bum wasn't the greatest thing.

I thought Marine Biology was my passion, but I guess its not. For five years, thats all I wanted for my future. But than all this stuff about being at the top of your class to qualify, and things like that turned me off. I know I shouldn't have listened to what people told me, but I also realized it just might not be for me. There is only one thing I've found enjoyment in, and thats acting. But there is no way I'm getting on that stage in school at this point. I was thinking about the winter musical, but me, and singing do not mix. My father is most likely going to get me acting classes soon, and I'll probably just fool around with that for fun.

When people get to know me, they say I'm acting material. Usually its believable. But I'm just not as entergetic as I used to be. Usually I get ignored now, and its not even funny. People my own age, kind of think of me as "eh, whatever." I've tried being so many people, I probably don't even know what I was to begin with. In a few years, everything will go smoother, I believe.

You know, you'll probably read a lot about me talking about my future. Why? Because its the only thing I can look forward to. I don't like the present, so I like to imagine what I can do now, to make my future perfect. But I usually end up thinking about what I can do in the future, instead of what I can do now..pity isn't it? I do sometimes miss the entergetic, immature little girl I portrayed myself as for a long time. I wouldn't even mind being that again, but I realize I could be something better. And well...this entry is going to turn corny on everyone, so I better quit now while I'm ahead.

So until we meet again, cheerio, and don't forget to hold up your pants!

Sincerely,

Mel